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What the overly zealous blogger of this blog site will look like after he has made his "last-blogger entry" (just one of the results of "ergomania").
What the overly zealous blogger of this blog site will look like after he has made his "last-blogger entry" (just one of the results of "ergomania").
Archives:
Presentations of language and definitions in the news that deviate, or diverge, sharply from the customary or traditional content norms or accepted standards that are usuallly seen in "regular" dictionary-content explanations.
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Friday, November 14, 2003
More deviant definitions and observations:
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating: Always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
This list was contributed by a friend; otherwise the source is unknown.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating: Always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
This list was contributed by a friend; otherwise the source is unknown.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
A second set of deviant definitions:
Adolescence: A period when teenagers feel that they will never be as ignorant as their parents.
Autobiography: A history of cars.
Belong: To take one's time.
Book: A diversion used to pass the time while waiting for the computer repairman.
Coffee: Break fluid.
Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Couch potato's gym nemesis: Dreadmill.
Counterfeiters: Workers who put kitchen cabinets together.
Dentist: A magician who puts metal in someone's mouth and pulls coins from his/her pocket.
Dermatologist: Someone who makes rash judgments.
Dimly-lit restaurant: Dinner sanctum.
Diplomacy: The art of getting other people to do it your way.
Disarmament: An agreement between nations to destroy all weapons that are obsolete.
Eclipse: What a gardener does to a hedge.
Efficiency Expert: A person smart enough to tell others how to run their businesses but too smart to start his/her own.
Experience: The name we give to our mistakes.
Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for world news.
Flashlight: A container for holding dead batteries.
Handicap: A ready-to-use hat.
Hanging: A suspended sentence.
Intense: Where campers sleep.
IOU: Paper wait.
Jury: Twelve people who too often determine which client has the best lawyer.
Lame Duck: A politician whose goose is cooked.
Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass.
Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Magna Carta: England's first reign check.
Nitrate: Cheapest price for calling long distance.
Paradox: Two physicians.
Paraffins: Those extensions found on the sides of fish.
Paralyze: Two untruths.
Planning: The art of putting off until tomorrow what someone has no intention of doing today.
Polygamy: Marriage to many spouses, while monotony is considered by some as marriage to just one spouse.
Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.
Relief: What trees do in the spring.
Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Subdued: Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
Suburbia: Where they cut down the trees and then name streets after them.
Tact: The ability to see others as they wish to be seen.
Tact: The art of making guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
Taxes: The only one of two certainties in life for which you can get an extension.
Teenager: An adolescent whose hang-ups do not include his/her clothes.
Thesaurus: An ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
Thursday: How one feels while crossing a desert on a hot day.
Warehouse: What some people ask when they are lost.
Adolescence: A period when teenagers feel that they will never be as ignorant as their parents.
Autobiography: A history of cars.
Belong: To take one's time.
Book: A diversion used to pass the time while waiting for the computer repairman.
Coffee: Break fluid.
Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Couch potato's gym nemesis: Dreadmill.
Counterfeiters: Workers who put kitchen cabinets together.
Dentist: A magician who puts metal in someone's mouth and pulls coins from his/her pocket.
Dermatologist: Someone who makes rash judgments.
Dimly-lit restaurant: Dinner sanctum.
Diplomacy: The art of getting other people to do it your way.
Disarmament: An agreement between nations to destroy all weapons that are obsolete.
Eclipse: What a gardener does to a hedge.
Efficiency Expert: A person smart enough to tell others how to run their businesses but too smart to start his/her own.
Experience: The name we give to our mistakes.
Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for world news.
Flashlight: A container for holding dead batteries.
Handicap: A ready-to-use hat.
Hanging: A suspended sentence.
Intense: Where campers sleep.
IOU: Paper wait.
Jury: Twelve people who too often determine which client has the best lawyer.
Lame Duck: A politician whose goose is cooked.
Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass.
Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Magna Carta: England's first reign check.
Nitrate: Cheapest price for calling long distance.
Paradox: Two physicians.
Paraffins: Those extensions found on the sides of fish.
Paralyze: Two untruths.
Planning: The art of putting off until tomorrow what someone has no intention of doing today.
Polygamy: Marriage to many spouses, while monotony is considered by some as marriage to just one spouse.
Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.
Relief: What trees do in the spring.
Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Subdued: Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
Suburbia: Where they cut down the trees and then name streets after them.
Tact: The ability to see others as they wish to be seen.
Tact: The art of making guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
Taxes: The only one of two certainties in life for which you can get an extension.
Teenager: An adolescent whose hang-ups do not include his/her clothes.
Thesaurus: An ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
Thursday: How one feels while crossing a desert on a hot day.
Warehouse: What some people ask when they are lost.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Smile with these deviant definitions:
adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
beauty parlor: A place where some women go to dye.
cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
chickens: The only animals either eaten before they are born or after they are dead.
committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
gossip (n.): A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
handkerchief: Cold storage.
inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
myth: A female moth.
raisin: A grape with a sunburn.
secret: Something told to one person at a time.
skeleton: A bunch of bones with the body scraped off.
toothache: The pain that drives a person to extraction.
tomorrow: One of today's greatest labor-saving devices.
yawn: Often an honest opinion openly expressed.
wrinkles: Something other people have; we have character lines.
adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
beauty parlor: A place where some women go to dye.
cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
chickens: The only animals either eaten before they are born or after they are dead.
committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
gossip (n.): A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
handkerchief: Cold storage.
inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
myth: A female moth.
raisin: A grape with a sunburn.
secret: Something told to one person at a time.
skeleton: A bunch of bones with the body scraped off.
toothache: The pain that drives a person to extraction.
tomorrow: One of today's greatest labor-saving devices.
yawn: Often an honest opinion openly expressed.
wrinkles: Something other people have; we have character lines.
